This is part three in a series about writing rhyming picture books. Read part one to learn about the kinds of books that work well in rhyme, how to form a perfect rhyme, and whether it’s true that the publishing industry is anti-rhyme. Read part two to learn about metre and stress in picture books.
If you understand how to form a perfect rhyme and how to write in a clear metre, you have the tools you need to write a rhyming picture book. Now it’s time to make sure that every word of your book is working to enchant your audience and elevate the reading experience.
Here are five easy ways to improve your rhyming picture book.
1. Don’t put the form before the content
Is your character named Jane Blientist because she’s a scientist?
If so, you’ve let the rhyme scheme drive some of your writing decisions. Is that a problem? Well, it’s a bit contrived, but it’s not negatively affecting the story.
What if Jane pauses her science experiment to eat a pickle because you really needed a word that rhymed with “fickle”?
Is that a problem? Maybe. If the spontaneous pickle consumption doesn’t fit with the characterization or plot of the rest of the book, then it’s an interruption that’s been forced in to fit the rhyme.
In prose, if a page needs one line to get the point across, then you write one line. But what if you have a rhyming book with four-line stanzas in an ABCB rhyme scheme? When writers try to pad out a one-line scene with three lines of filler, it shows.
Conversely, some moments needs more space than others: if you try to limit every beat in the story to a single couplet or stanza, you may wind up with sections that feel underdeveloped.
Writing in verse puts constraints on your story that don’t exist in prose. With creativity, patience, and a willingness to try new things, you can use that structure to charm your readers. But if you find yourself frustrated by the limitations, don’t be afraid to ask yourself whether prose is a better fit for your narrative style.
2. Avoid inverting lines to force a rhyme
Sometimes writing in rhyme feels like a puzzle. It’s frustrating when you can’t get a piece to fit—but you wouldn’t bend the edges of a puzzle piece to force it into the wrong spot.
A strong rhyming book shouldn’t need to invert the sentence structure just to make the rhyme work. Consider the following example:
Trains are on their way: choo choo!
Fly away, the birds will do.
See how the second line has been rearranged to allow for “do” at the end? At best, inversions like this can sound stodgy and formal. At worst, they can sound unnatural and distracting. And to your readers, inverted lines can say “I got tired of trying.” If you want to write “the birds fly away,” then write “the birds fly away.” If it doesn’t fit, try something else.
Don’t be afraid to start over to see how you can make the line work:
Trains approach. They hiss and scree.
The startled sparrows quickly flee.
This version loses the awkward syntax and adds some detail, but the core information is the same: a train arrives, and birds fly away.
3. Consider pronunciation differences
Does niche rhyme with ditch or leash? Do Mary and merry have the same vowel sound? Is garage stressed on the first or second syllable? The answer depends on where you live.
Take the following line:
I parked the car inside the big garage.
To a North American reader, this sentence is a clear example of iambic pentameter: I parked the car inside the big garage. However, a British reader may stumble over what would appear to them as an error in the metre: I parked the car inside the big garage.
I own a British picture book that rhymes “baa” with “far” on a page about sheep. The couplet works for the author in the UK, but in my Canadian English accent, these words don’t rhyme.
This can also apply to words that can be pronounced multiple ways within a given dialect. I’ve often been asked whether “fire” and “squirrel” have one syllable or two, and whether “family” has two syllables or three. The answer is … yes. While one may be more prevalent than another, each of those pronunciations is possible.
Some authors choose to stick to unambiguous words, and some don’t. Either way, if you plan to publish for an international audience, remember that your readers may have different accents than you do.
4. Think about the rhymes you find
Rhyming dictionaries are a fantastic resource! Sometimes when you’re working on a couplet, you can get stuck thinking about the words you want to make work. It’s helpful to have a little nudge from the rhyming dictionary to remind you of some other options that you hadn’t considered.
But remember that algorithms aren’t human, so you’ll still need to evaluate each suggestion to see if it works. Some suggestions aren’t perfect rhymes, and some aren’t rhymes at all.
For example, I often keep RhymeZone open in one tab as I’m editing. It’s tremendously useful, but it’s not infallible. Here are two examples of rhyme suggestions gone wrong:
Word to rhyme: ERIN
Some suggestions from RhymeZone (as of July 2021):
Aaron: This is only sometimes a match. “Erin” and “Aaron” rhyme in my accent, but not in all accents.
Macaroon: Erin might like to eat a coconut macaroon, but I doubt she’d agree that mak-uh-ROON rhymes with AIR-in.
Note: I’ve used the rough phonetic breakdowns that are closest to my own pronunciation. There are minor differences within other regional variations, but I don’t know of any that would make these words rhyme.
Word to rhyme: CAT
Some suggestions from RhymeZone (as of July 2021):
Doormat: The emphasis on “doormat” is on the first syllable (DOR-mat). For a near rhyme, this could work, but a perfect rhyme would require the stress to fall on the second syllable.
Coup d’état: While “d’état” looks like it should rhyme with “cat,” it’s pronounced in English as day-TAH. (I’ll leave it to those who are fluent in French to cover the proper French pronunciation, but it still doesn’t rhyme with “cat” en français.)
As you can see, some of these rhyme suggestions would only work in certain contexts, and some wouldn’t work at all. Don’t throw out your rhyming dictionaries just yet. They’re full of great suggestions, as long as you take a step back to evaluate whether the word you’re choosing really rhymes.
When in doubt, you can check the pronunciation guide in your dictionary.
5. Read your book aloud
Reading aloud is a great way to catch typos or awkward phrasing for any book, but it’s especially valuable for rhyming texts.
You know your book far better than your customers will. Having someone read it with fresh eyes means that you’ll hear where they stumble over difficult lines or unintentional tongue-twisters, and you’ll spot rhymes that are less universal than you thought they were.
People who haven’t read your book before are also less susceptible to what I like to call “metronome syndrome.” When you’re intensely focused on your book and your metre, it’s easy to get so entrenched in your metre that you start to read everything as if it fits—whether it does or not. (This can happen to editors too. When I catch myself reading like a metronome and allowing the stress to fall on the wrong syllable of a word, I take a break and come back to the manuscript later.)
Next Steps
Writing a rhyming picture book isn’t easy, but an editor who specializes in rhyme can help you smooth everything out for your reader. When you’re ready, let’s talk about how I can help you refine your rhyme and metre.
Read More
Rhyme & Metre Series – Part 1: So you want to write a rhyming book
Rhyme & Metre Series – Part 2: Taking the stress out of metre and stress